The Magic of Guiding Questions to Help Us Navigate Uncertainty
Getting Back Into the Play of Life
How might this post change your day? How might this day change your life?
What if the words you read here today reveal new possibilities and opportunities — things that are already all around you right now, but are all too easy to overlook with such a busy mind?
I am not asking you that question as some kind of trick to get you to read on. I am asking because it's a powerful thing to consider. And it's powerful because it invites you (a) to become aware of your attention and focus and (b) consciously choose where to direct it.
We invest or spend our life energy in accordance with how we direct our attention. Our intentions, thoughts, and emotions are instruments in this activity. They are tools we can learn to use more and more wisely over time.
I also ask because it’s a great example of a guiding question.
So what is guiding question?
It's a question you can ask at any time to help you navigate uncertainty. To get the most of out of an experience. To help open your eyes, ears, and your heart to the subtle opportunities that present themselves to us every day of our lives.
Questions are powerful things. When you ask, you are putting into motion all that goes into the answering. In both your inner and outer worlds, your questions invite a response.
Beyond Uncertainty and Inevitability
A funny thing happens when things become very uncertain in life, there's a strong yearning that emerges, which gives rise to ideas of inevitability.
In our current times, we're inundated with narratives of inevitability:
For example, how often do we hear some version of how inevitable it is that:
AI and robots will be smarter and better than humans, so will take over a lot of jobs putting humans out of work
we will go to war
humans will destroy the planet
There's much more than this swirling around us, but why give it even more energy.
The key thing I wanted to point out here is that the very reason that these inevitability stories have the energy that they do is precisely because we live in such uncertain times.
Uncertainty means that the outcome is UNKNOWN.
And therein lies the greatest opportunity we've had in our lifetimes.
Many will opt-in to their preferred narrative, without even realizing what they are giving up in the process.
Some will be inspired to dream into this opening. To dream into the uncertainty new ways of seeing the world, new ways of doing things, new ways of loving the planet, all while appreciating the role of the Human.
THIS is the choice we are given at such times in history. When great cycles are changing over.
The same goes for choices in our personal lives as well.
The Microcosm of Uncertainty and Inevitability
Maybe it's been happening to you, or those close to you.
People are changing jobs, or maybe out of work for the first time in years. Long-time relationships and friend groups are changing and shifting. For many, it seems that we're currently experiencing more losses than gains here... our social circles are getting smaller, clearing out, maybe making room for something new and different?
There is this widespread questioning of - well, everything: Have I made the right choices? What comes next? What is even real or true anymore?
If you are experiencing any of these things, first know that you are not alone.
You might think that the last thing you need is yet another question, but I encourage you to consider how beneficial it might be to begin practicing the intentional, conscious use of powerful, guiding questions.
Roger Goes Rogue
To give all of this a bit more concreteness and context, I'll share that one of the reasons behind the change in name for this Substack is related to these kinds of changes in my own life.
I wrapped up a contract at the end of 2023, and decided that was it for my "day job". After many, many years of trying to balance a day job against all of my other interests - I felt so done. Yet, admittedly, I did not have a great plan for what would come next.
I found myself in one of those between times in life.
Thankfully, I realized I had a choice to make - what did I want to believe about this shift? What is the real story here?
There was of course one inner voice (aka "the critic", "a gremlin", etc...) which said things like "you've failed, you're washed up, it's over" and on and on and on.
And there was another voice asking me to step back, to not judge the situation, to let go of stories altogether and simply be open to what was unfolding. To be present.
I chose to listen to this latter voice over the first.
What followed was the discovery that all around me were tools and information and opportunities to do and learn and be whatever I wanted to create next in my life. I was blown away.
This didn't happen overnight. But over the course of a few weeks, I went from feeling like I was in free fall to feeling like I was floating and could move in any direction at any time. I began to understand that nothing truly new was showing up, but that by shifting my awareness, I was able to see what was always there, behind the scenes — a free spirit!
As a coach, one thing we are very familiar with is the idea of limiting beliefs. We all have them. And yet, it can still be really profound to see just how many are still active in our own lives, especially after having moved beyond a good number already.
It's like a series of shell dreams — a dream within a dream, within a dream. We "wake up" only to realize we're still dreaming. And then do it again, and again and again.
At some point, striving ceases, and you just begin to enjoy the experience, the scenery, fully recognizing it's ALL temporary. In the end, we are all just visitors here, spirit travelers moving through a world of form.
The Power of Guiding Questions
Cynthia Sue Larson from Reality Shifters has a great saying: "How Good Can It Get?"
Asking this question can shift the energy of any situation. And referring back to the dream-like nature of this reality, it can shift the dream too.
When we ask this question - we are inviting Source to answer us. Indeed, there is a belief that ANY question you genuinely ask WILL be answered. If this is so - imagine what you are putting into motion by asking "How Good Can It Get?"
For example, I am starting a fast this weekend. Not a super long fast or anything, but it's been a while since I have done this, so I’m a bit anxious about how I'll feel after a day or two.
By simply asking "How Good Can It Get?" — I begin to reframe the whole experience. I am reminded that there are so many reasons that I do this, to help my body, to help my spirit. Asking this guiding question helps me to tune in to those benefits. Does it take away the hunger or agitation or discomforts? Not really. But it helps me put those things into context so they do not become the most important parts of the experience.
Likewise, at the start of this year, I went pretty deep into the work and meditations created by Dr Joe Dispenza. He'll often ask questions like "what would greatness do?" or "what would love do?"
These come up, for example, in his morning meditation when you are encouraged to envision what you want for your day... when you are maybe rehearsing or practicing in your mind how you would like to show up for certain events or experiences.
The idea here is NOT to try to control anything, but to influence how WE show up. To break us out of the default, unconscious loops we are all in every day - to wake us up to the choices we have, and to the possibilities that present themselves.
Imagine you are looking at a challenging situation you have ahead of you. Instead of dwelling on how much it sucks while squirming and trying to get out of it altogether, imagine simply asking yourself "what would greatness do in this situation?"
Once you get the hang of it, it's easy to build upon these and expand them to fit your situation.
With this fast I am embarking upon now, I am asking myself:
How might this experience shift my energy?
What might spirit have to say, that I might hear more easily?
While I am not consuming food, what can I experience with my other senses that I would normally miss?
How might this help with sleep or dreams?
How will this support me in the days and weeks ahead after the fast has completed?
Again, these questions do not guarantee a nice or pleasurable outcome. But they help me stay attuned and focused so I am aware if and when the good shows up.
Uncertainty and Locus of Control
Asking guiding questions helps us remember that we are not in control of what happens around us or what others do.
This is an unfortunate tendency that has emerged from the "Law of Attraction" movement. People begin to think that they co-create EVERYTHING... the whole "we create our reality" idea.
It's beyond the scope of this post to get into how these ideas can be both true in certain ways and yet also entirely distracting (or worse) when put into practice without a deeper understanding.
I'll never forget the story I once heard Caroline Myss share about visiting a friend in the hospital who was recovering from a fall off of her bicycle (if I recall correctly). The friend was obsessing over what she did wrong to create that experience. Caroline said something to the effect of "sometimes shit happens".
It's very unfortunate to watch as someone we know has one of these "shit happens" moments in life, and then proceeds to beat up on themselves as the root cause of it all.
But here's the rub: it can be easier to beat up on themselves as the cause than to consider how such a thing could just happen out of nowhere, any time and any day of the week!
In other words, we're back to the human condition of dealing with uncertainty.
“Everybody wants to rule the world” -- or at least, their world.
But honestly, what fun is that?
The Dance of Life
How would life change for you if you embraced the notion that LIFE IS A DANCE? That we are in an environment where experimentation and play are not only encouraged but are critical path?
Imagine you die, get to the other side, only to learn that the real and only key to a fulfilling life on earth is CREATIVITY!
What if life is really all about us using our imaginations to dream up a better and better world? Will there be nightmares at times? Sure, that goes with the territory. But we don't stop dreaming just because we might have a nightmare here and there.
These are all ways to help us see the value and benefit of Uncertainty.
To see that it’s OK to live life in the question.
When we dance, play, experiment, and create - the outcome is unknown. When you fall in love, you have no idea where that journey will take you. Would you read a book if you knew the ending? Maybe in some cases, but would it be as pleasurable as not knowing?
When you wake up one day overflowing with nothing but gratitude and appreciation for another day - you are not feeling these things because you know it will be a good day. You wake up because it could be.
It is how things could be, might be... it's the desire and dreams we embrace and care for - these are the things that call our spirits forward in life.
Thank You
If you’re still with me after the name change, and still reading this post, I want you to know how much I appreciate you being here.
I do not know where this journey will take us, but know that I am all in on experimenting and exploring the potentials of human connection and creativity as we go.
How Good Can It Get?
Let’s find out.