You Can't Outsource Inner Guidance

But It Can Absolutely Come From Others

I just got back from a run. 6 miles near my home, on quiet dirt roads. A route comprised of smaller loops within larger loops. On my training plan, I have named this route “Inception”.

How similar is this to life itself, and to the experience of being inside of a shell dream, a dream within a dream. A simulation within a simulation, of sorts.

I was talking with friends a week or so ago, trying to articulate what I love about running. I said something to the effect of “the only way to feel like you’ve just run 10 miles is to go out and run 10 miles”.

Yeah, I know, master of the obvious, but what I mean is that it is real. You have to train, do the work, build up to it, then - when all goes well, it can feel absolutely amazing.

I get it, for some people, they hear that number and are filled with painful imaginings. But for those of us that get it, we know exactly what this means and how beautiful it can be. Of course, we also know it can outright suck.

There’s really only one way to know, which is to go and do the thing.

This is what inner guidance is all about. It doesn’t do the thing, it simply points the way. And no one but you can go and make of it what you will. “Will” being the operative word in that sentence!

My First Visit to Taos

I live in Taos, New Mexico. A long way from where I grew up in north central Ohio. And a different world than Chicago, the city I called home for nearly two decades.

I first visited this odd little place in New Mexico in 2015. With a rare window of time to “get away” on my own for a bit, a whole series of synchronicities that seemed insignificant at the time led me to pick this of all places on the map.

All I cared about was getting out for a long road trip and changing my environment.

At this time of my life, I was all into the idea of intentions and the influence our intentions can have over our experiences. I was also working with a therapist for a short while there - a guy who I found to be very grounded, rational, and actually a bit on the insensitive side, which maybe was a nice balance to the drama I felt all around me in my life.

I have such a clear memory of talking with him about the upcoming trip. I was nervous, never having actually done anything like this on my own before. I always had others to worry about, focus on. So what would I do by myself? Who would I even really be once I left behind everyone and everything familiar to me?

So I said “I’m sure I’ll love it”.

He immediately replied “how do you know that?”

I was so taken aback.

Well, of course, I said, then proceeded to blah-blah-blah my way through some bullshit answer that attempted to make sense of the notion that, if I intend it to be good then of course it will be good!

This moment was so important that it would be hard to overstate it.

There I sat, with all of these bullshit new-agey ideas, thinking that those concepts would keep me safe in an unpredictable world, and ensure that all would be well.

Thankfully, I was open to the teachings of that moment.

I was able to see all that I would be robbing myself of, if I were to approach this road trip from this vantage point: thinking, or worse than that - acting like I knew what it was all about, how it would go, and how I would feel about it all.

No no no. The truth of the matter was - the ONLY way to know was to go and do the thing.

This not to say that intentions are unimportant. They do matter. I also understand that we can rehearse for unknown things coming in the day ahead, which helps us be more conscious and present for those moments.

But if things don’t go well for one reason or another, this is not simply a sign of failure on your part — in other words, it doesn’t mean that you failed to intend properly! Sometimes, sh*t just happens.

I fully believe that Spirit led me to the decision to go to Taos in the first place. But that doesn’t mean that even Spirit knew what would actually happen.

This is a critical point to understand: Yes, I trust my inner guidance to point me in the right direction. Every single time I ask. But it’s still up to me with regards to what I make of the experiences that follow.

This is because each step of the way, we have FREE WILL choices to make about what we are receptive to, what signs we’ll see, how we will interpret them, what experiences we will embrace, what guidance we will hear in the first place, let alone follow.

It would take dozens of Substack posts to try to convey just how pivotal that first visit ended up being in my life. What I thought was a somewhat trivial “vacation destination” decision turned out to be life changing. But really and truly, every choice we make every day is life-changing, whether we realize it then, or later, or never.

Despite the sense of continuity that you generally have about who and what you are, you are, in all actuality, an ever-changing and evolving being.

Inner guidance is the force, the life impulse that moves you along that path of change.

The Power of Presence

Back to the notion of loops within loops, and cycles within cycles.

Everywhere you look in nature, you see patterns that are expressed over and over, and the same patterns at the macro level that exist at the micro level. Likewise, much of what we see outside ourselves is reflected within, and vice versa.

As above, so below. As below, so above.

Another facet of inner guidance is that it is patient, iterative, and will simply keep pushing you towards the very thing you most need to resolve, heal, and grow through.

If you want to be clear about what you most need to focus on in order to heal or grow, simply look for what you resist most.

Not saying it is a one to one relationship, some things we definitely resist for good reason. But there will always be those other things you repeatedly push away, consciously or maybe not so consciously, therein lies the key that unlocks the next level of the game.

I didn’t want to run today. I wanted to write. And make a video. And share. But I had absolutely zero idea of what to start with. What is “the thing” today that is asking to be expressed and shared?

While it felt counter-intuitive (considering my to-do list) - the message was “go run”.

So that’s what I did.

I encountered a few people out walking their dogs. One couple, in particular, I crossed paths with more than once. The loops within the larger loop are all on a big hill. The second or third time I was running by them, as they were coming down and I was heading up, one of them said “now you have to go up”.

This was the trigger.

He was being friendly, just trying to connect. But I’m not sure he could have uttered a more obvious statement. It was amusing. I went into observer mode - I felt kindness. He was reaching out. Not sure what to say. I felt the connection. Connection is good. It is genuine, human, real.

It means something, all on its own.

It reminded me of a couple of phone calls I have had in recent days. I went into each feeling worrying “what do they want from me?” — turned out than in both cases, I spent a bit of time with these people on the phone just connecting and sharing. I say “just” but what I really mean is, wow… how refreshing!

Why? Why was this such a shock to my system? I guess because so much of our lives have become transactional… everyone seems to be trying to sell everyone else on something - ALL OF THE FREAKING TIME.

Could be a literal product or service, or a political point of view, or some crazy conspiracy theory - “everything is a psy-op”, dontcha know?

Whatever happened to two people simply BEING WITH ONE ANOTHER. Present. No expectations. Nothing has to be fixed or resolved or revealed or ignored.

Effortless togetherness.

That’s what I experienced yesterday and the day before. One call was with someone I hadn’t spoken with in several years. The other was a completely new acquaintance.

How could this be? I certainly didn’t see it coming. But there it was. And thank God I was open to the experience.

This all left me wondering - how many times has this shown up in my life before but I was just too in my head to even realize the opportunity was there?

All of this poured forth from this simple act, from this man walking his dog reaching out, saying, in effect, I see you. I am here. You are here. We are here.

Yeah, I know that sounds dumb in writing and no it’s not just the endorphins talking.

Being seen. Feeling seen, heard… feeling connected. These are such powerful healing forces in our world.

And yet, we tend to overlook them all too easily.

Healing, Creating, Thriving

I have been pondering a particular dilemma of sorts this last week or two. Everything I am sharing is connected to this dilemma, although I clearly wasn’t all that aware of it as these events were unfolding.

This is how it works - when we ask Source a real and true question, I deeply and truly believe that we will absolutely get an answer. The only trick, so to speak, is to be open to the response, because the form and format could be well beyond our expectations.

I wrote about this recently here on Substack:

The question I have been asking is this: what to do about my coaching / healing practice?

The world feels so noisy to me. How do I show up without just adding to the noise? How can I help others better understand what I do and offer, without having to go down some salesy, marketing path that does not resonate with me in the slightest?

And quite honestly, should I even still be doing this work at all? Is it really helping?

So I asked for a sign.

I didn’t get one. I got many. A a whole slew of them.

Many came through to me from these very warm, very genuine calls that seemed to come out of the blue. Some came through dream experiences. The message was loud and clear. Yes, stay in the game. I am needed. We are all needed. Perhaps now more than ever.

The much bigger, deeper gift that I have received this last week is a much enhanced, clearer understanding of the how and why of it all.

As a healer, I have long understood - all healing is self healing. The role of a great healer, from my perspective, is to show up fully and completely, and then get out of the way. Our job is to create and hold space in which the client may choose to heal. It is always up to them.

As such, it’s understandable that many of us in this role will question from time to time what we are doing. If we are doing enough. If we are still on the right path. Are we still genuinely humble, and still operating in our power?

Everything I tell my clients holds true for me as well. This is how it all works. We cannot administer medicine that we ourselves are afraid to take.

The medicine that I have received this last week — the experience I am longing to share through words here with you, is the power of human connection, and how deeply healing it can be to simply be present with another person.

Can inner guidance emerge from this quiet place? Yes, absolutely. But that is not the purpose. It is not a transactional space.

Maybe this is already super obvious to you. Or maybe it will help to hear this from someone else: It is enough to simple BE in this world.

To BE with yourself, first and foremost. Then to be with another.

Maybe it’s an animal friend, a partner, a child… or maybe you are fortunate enough to have community where you can feel at ease simply being in their presence. Whatever the form or format - I am simply inviting your awareness of the gift that this kind of togetherness offers.

Inner Guidance

Whether you are looking at your resistance for clues about what needs healing, or considering ways to create more space for real togetherness in your life, the larger point is that these are things you cannot pay someone else to do or figure out for you.

Likewise, you cannot force these things, or use willpower or intention to make it all go the way you want.

What is the alternative? By dropping into your heart space, and by entering into a deeper level of acceptance and openness, you may reach deeper levels of awareness. You may open clearer lines of communication with your inner guidance.

What I am sharing here are experiences that not all that long ago, I honestly did not know could exist.

I know I am not alone, by any stretch, but what complicates matters is that our language and conversations are full of words that convey concepts. Concepts that can, at times, hide the true nature of these kinds of experiences.

I am not pointing you towards concepts.

Concepts may get you moving in the right direction, but will never help you with the real and raw experience. Indeed, they can most certainly get in the way, until you learn how to set them aside. Concepts are in your head. Experiences are multidimensional. You feel them with your body, emotions, mind, and spirit.

Source, Consciousness, Effortless Togetherness, and yes, Inner Guidance - these are experiences available to each of us, in ways that extend far beyond whatever their corresponding conceptual frameworks may offer.

So while no one can do it for you, simply being present with others can be a beautiful way to open yourself up to the seemingly infinite facets of life and expression that Source presents us with.

Listen with your heart, and you may hear the truest song that has yet been written for you, for this moment in time, for this leg of the journey ahead.